A TRIVIAL OFFENSE 1900

Judge: So you stole from this man a gold watch with a plated chain?
Prisoner: Only the chain, your honor. But the watch was hanging from the end of it.

1900 Uncharitable

Young Wife: I made my husband's acquaintance at a charity bazaar.

Her Dearest Friend: And did he marry you out of charity?

1900 Good Understudies

John "Ah, you should get married, Janet, and then you would have someone to look after you."

Janet "Me! Me get married! What would I do with a man? I've got a parrot that swears and a monkey that smokes, and that's quite enough for me."

Indianapolis Press joke

Timmons "I don't want to be vain, but my writings often remind me of Tennyson."

Simmons "Me too, Tennyson is also dead."

Scribner's comic for Christmas (1900)

Christmas comic (1900)

How the bad boys foozled uncle (1900)

Bertie's sad Christmas (1900)

Tottie: Let me order the dinner, Bertie.
Bertie: Oh, but you don't know enough about it, do you?
Tottie: Well, I can see what's the most expensive, can't I?

1900 newpaper comic strip of crude millionaire

Millionaire (uncultivated, but proud of his wealth): "I tell you, I'm a self made man."
Stranger: I'm glad to hear it, so there's nobody else you can blame."

Mrs. Winifred Worm "Why in mourning, dear?"
Mrs. Wilheimina Word "A sad bereavement befell our family today. My husband, while in the house tending the baby, was bitten in two by William, the farmer's son."

1900 Chicago Chronicle newspaper cartoon

"She is very particular."
"How do you know?"
"When she caught that burglar in the house the first thing she asked was if he had wiped his feet on the door mat."

Too Often the Case legal humor(1901)

Judge "Gentlemen of the jury, what is the verdict?
Irish Foreman "We found that the men who stole the horse is not guilty."

1900 humor old mail

Clara "At Jennie's wedding last week owing to a misunderstanding, she had to wait at the church 30 minutes for the bridegroom."

Maude "Oh, well, 30 minutes isn't anything to a woman who has waited 30 years."

1900 cartoon from Der Dofbarbier

Many of the newspaper cartoons I have come across seem to come from other papers and are reprinted in other papers. I have been unable to figure out if this is the cartoonist or another paper but the cartoons are pretty funny.

Customer "Why do you want to make another plate? Was the first a failure?

Photographer "The picture was somewhat too close a likeness ma'am."

1900 humor shorts from newspaper

sexist humor from 1901

"Why should a woman take a man's name when she marries him?

"Well, as long as she takes everything else, she might as well that that, too."

Pessimists humor (1900)

some 1900 humor

Butterfly—Magnificent, sir! There are scenes in your comedy that Shakespeare himself could not have written.

Dapter---You are too kind, really.

Butterfly--“Not at all, sir. Take for instance, that railroad smash-up in the third act.

Brooklyn Life

“I guess Binx has just had a raise in salary.” Said the confirmed cynic.

“Has anybody told you so?”

“No. But he goes about saying he thinks the world is getting better, and that the danger from trusts is greatly magnified, and that human nature isn’t so bad after all. That’s the way a man nearly always talks just after he has had a raise in salary”

Washington Star

“Why did you take that $20 from the cash drawer?”

“Oh, I just wanted a little cab fare.”

“Great guns! You must be living in California.”

St Louis Republic

SOCIETY DOCTOR HUMOR

The Older Doctor--It is remarkable, doctor, how suddenly you have become popular, and how often you are called to the finest house, especially to treat ladies. How do you manage it?

The Younger Doctor--O, I take care that my patients have only the most fashionable diseases!

1900 NEWSPAPER HUMOR

Bacon—It’s hard to hear that girl sing without being moved.

Egbert—Yes; I understand 4 families who have lived next door to her have been moved after hearing her sing.

 (from Yonkers Statesman)

Butterfly—Magnificent, sir! There are scenes in your comedy that Shakespeare himself could not have written.

Dapter---You are too kind, really.

Butterfly--“Not at all, sir. Take for instance, that railroad smash-up in the third act.

(from Brooklyn Life)

“I guess Binx has just had a raise in salary.” Said the confirmed cynic.

“Has anybody told you so?”

“No. But he goes about saying he thinks the world is getting better, and that the danger from trusts is greatly magnified, and that human nature isn’t so bad after all. That’s the way a man nearly always talks just after he has had a raise in salary”

 

(from the Washington Star)